Plus and Minus of Married Life

Plus and Minus of Married Life

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In this age of modern living, independence and ``swipe right``, is the ancient institution of marriage a thing of the past? Is it replaced by the now commonly accepted practice of living together without the final commitment? Are we missing something? The evidence below seems to suggest the pro`s may outweigh the con`s……BUT we should take a look at both sides of the marital coin.

We get married for many reasons: to share our lives with someone else, start a family, enjoy the everyday triumphs, failures, memories and events which shape us. We crave a connection with others so what better way to achieve that than through marriage and living the happily ever after?

As an added bonus, marriage may offer more than making us happier people - tying the knot may also improve our health and longevity. There have been many studies which have shown some consistent findings to this effect. We cannot assume these to be correct or proven in fact, however they make an interesting read for you to draw your own conclusions:

  • 90% of married women alive at 45 make it to 65 against just over 80% of divorced or never-married women. Mortality rates could be up to 50% higher for unmarried women. Likewise men alive at 48 had a 90% chance of reaching 65 if they were married, but only 60% or 70% if they were single - if this is correct that`s a much higher mortality rate.
  • A married man who smokes more than a pack a day can expect to live as long as a divorced man who doesn`t smoke.
  • Unmarried people spend twice as much time in hospitals as married people. Cancer cures are claimed to be 8 to 17 percent more successful when a patient is married; research showed being married was comparable to being in an age category 10 years younger.
  • Marital status may be the most important factor for predicting depression. Rates of major depression were nine times higher in unmarried men. Depression, and in particular dysphoria - a feeling of anxiety, depression, and unease - were also higher in single women compared to married women.


That covers a wide array of statistics but what about the financial gains which can be made? There are many ways to make some significant savings through tax efficiencies and allowances. Some guidance on a few of these are outlined below, but remember you should always research this or take professional advice before making any major decisions. These figures are relating to the 2018 / 2019 tax year.

  • A new tax allowance for married and civil partners was introduced in 2014 for low income households. This allows a spouse/civil partner who doesn`t pay income tax to transfer up to £1150 of their personal tax-free allowance to their partner. Better still if you have not yet claimed it you can go back to when it started.
  • If one spouse is a 40% taxpayer and the other does not earn and savings are held by the non-earner, they cannot be taxed on the interest (as long as it does not exceed the personal allowance).
  • A big advantage to being married is the ability to pass on assets after death without incurring inheritance tax. Inheritance tax is charged at 40% on estates worth more than £325,000. However if you are married or civil partners, all assets can be passed to the surviving spouse without any inheritance tax being applied. When the second spouse dies the limits can be combined meaning that only estates in excess of £650,000 will be taxed before they are passed to the next generation.
  • An additional inheritance tax free property allowance was introduced in 2018-19. From April 2017 you can pay less inheritance tax if you`re leaving property to a family member. In April 2018 this new transferrable allowance rose to £125,000 and will rise by £25,000 again in April 2019 and April 2020. This means that a married or civil partnership could pass on up to £650,000 in 2018-19, or £900,000 if enough of your estate includes your home.
  • You can minimise capital gains tax bills by transferring assets. If you are selling assets (funds, shares or property) then you will taxed on anything over £11,700. However, as both spouses have a capital gains tax exemption assets can be transferred so a couple can release £23,400 before tax is applied.
  • Pensions can also be affected if you are married or in a civil partnership. If you are married, you may inherit any final salary pension your spouse has earned. This could pay you up to half the pension he/she received. Please check your individual plan for details. In addition, some gifts are always tax free. These include gifts between spouses and civil partners as well as gifts to charities. The key is when they are made. Generally, as long as a gift is made more than seven years before your death to an individual (not to a business or trust), you won`t pay tax on them. If you do die within these seven years, the gift will be taxed.


So perhaps we can meet more than simply the basic needs of happiness and health through marriage by using the various allowances available to ensure we pass on as much of our hard earned money to those we actually want to receive it!

So, we have explored the pros of marriage – what about the cons? Here are just a few, they may strike you as dramatic or even controversial, but they should be considered as an antithesis to the positives expounded above.

  • Fidelity is not a natural state for human beings. Most married sex lives fade over time, which can lead to affairs and other forms of infidelity, even in the most well-intentioned people.
  • Many couples get stuck in a rut, repeating the same arguments over and over. The significant differences in their personalities never go away. Petty problems and irritating habits become magnified over time.
  • Marriage restricts the freedom of individual. Single people can happily live their lives pretty much as they please without having to be concerned with the needs or wishes of others. There is no need to consult someone else on how you spend your money or even what you watch on the television. They may seem insignificant at the outset of a relationship, but soon become major sources of struggle.
  • Marriage means that couples have to deal with their partner`s family. This can be a source of problems and conflict as after all you married your partner, not their family.
  • Getting married can add lots of extra bureaucracy and red tape to a relationship, especially when the wife changes her name and official documents such as driving licenses have to be changed.
  • Society has moved on and the traditional idea of marriage is outdated. Rather than seeing marriage as the one way that people should follow, we should embrace the various different sorts of human relationships and treat them all equally, such as one parent families, civil partnerships and same-sex relationships.
  • Marriage ceremonies can be very expensive and extremely stressful. It is not uncommon for relatives to take over and the couple`s wishes to be side-lined. And if after you get married you realise you have made a mistake and married the wrong person then divorce costs can be huge. Many sources quote a marriage cost at over £10,000!


So, at the end of the day you need to consider so many things before taking the proverbial plunge and getting married. What may be right for you now, may not be in say five or ten years` time. But we are only human and cannot see the future, so perhaps we need to consider what fulfils us and makes us truly happy now instead of reducing the sanctity of marriage to a spreadsheet of `for and against` which may not reflect your values at a later date.


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